Who this is for and not for

Who this is for

• If you’re a memoir junkie, consider yourself a curious person, or just love glimpses into someone’s inner world.

• If you’re going through some shit and want that exhale of: thank goodness I don’t have to pretend I’m enjoying these platitudes.

• If you know someone going through some shit and really care about them and want to show up for them and have more awareness of what could feel supportive to them (spoiler: asking them is the best way to find out!).

• If you know me, know of me, and like how my mind works, and even if you’re not in a rough patch yourself, want to see how someone immersed in mindset & energy for 15 years handles “not great” with resilience, humor, and presence, for your own reference.

• In your life, you may have been called intense, too much, too deep. You may secretly love sad songs and Mary Oliver. Maybe you talk to trees. Maybe animals love you. Just a guess.

• Additional ones, after some conversations, you may still LOVE this blog if:

  • You’re not into long essays: most of the later posts are like 4 sentences.

  • You pick and choose what you want to take in: you get to take this in as you like. Some people will sit for 1-2 hours and just read everything; others read 1 post a day, or 1 post a week. The fact that there’s a lot just shows that there’s a lot that you can let change you, if you let it, in your own timing.

  • You’ve never had cancer and don’t know anyone who’s ever had cancer: good. This isn’t a cancer blog. It just happens to have cancer as the backdrop. I’ve had people tell me it gives them words about their own marital troubles, dog grief, or just posting on social media.

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Who this is not for

• You don’t have a sense of humor. Sorry, we probably won’t get along, here or in life. I’m almost always at least partially joking and that’s jarring to those who don’t want to laugh or at least feel amused.

• You want the highlight reel, the tied-with-a-bow lessons without the messy middle. Maybe you’d read the 5-years-later summary recap that’s crafted specifically to sell you something. This isn’t that.

• You don’t want to open your mind. There will be a lot of “oh, I never thought of it like that” moments here. If that’s more threatening than exciting, then it’s probably a little world-shattering.

• You hate reading. This is a blog. Some posts are four sentences. Some are essays. If you’re the “I’m not reading all that” guy, then, well, you’re not.

• Additional ones after some conversations:

  • Anyone who’s hypochondriacal. I fully respect that. I had a great conversation with someone who said that she liked that I triggered her (well, not liked, but appreciated and respected; she got that it was rare; she loved the honesty and directness; she wanted to grow and rise) but that this is basically all of her worst fears, so, not for her. I get that. And to me, I respect that honest acknowledgement so much more than hypotheticals and platitudes.​ (However, she did eventually prepay for the year, so, you still might read it!)

  • Anyone who doesn’t want to be changed. It IS possible to read this full blog, all of my words, and not “get it.” It’s just probably not comfortable. It’s like clinging to rocks when the river is asking you to float. Someone read my free posts and so wildly misunderstood what I was saying that I had to look at the different angles: turns out she projected her own emotions onto the events instead of reading my actual words. Fortunately, most people who have read even the free posts have understood. It does take a certain willingness to meet yourself, though. If someone wants to skate over surface-level, any calls to expand or rise will feel like the ice breaking instead of like sun parting through the clouds.

  • Anyone who over-identifies with the victim part of their story (we all have empowered and not-empowered parts of us) and wants to drag me there too (I won’t go!). They won’t see my strength and the ability to open up to the complexity of presence and beauty even when things aren’t great. Finding the good, finding the strengths, are superpowers, and they can be trained. When you want to.

Other than that… it’s opt-in. A few free posts for everyone. A few more for free subscribers (usually “how-to” style, not super personal to me). And the rest for $8/month. Don’t love it? Cancel and that’s an $8 risk. Except it’s not a risk because it goes to me, who might use it to treat myself to a latte or Anna’s Taqueria on a good day. So, you get to choose how much you want to witness.